


truth or date

by tealseal



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Oikawa is a little shit, but i thought i'd remind you all, hahasdfk this is just the truth or dare cliche forgive me, kindaichi is traumatized, makki is clueless, oh well, seijoh antics, that last one is irrelevant to this fic, this devolved into crack, watari is best boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25317811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tealseal/pseuds/tealseal
Summary: "This, my friends," Takahiro says, "is a rousing game we like to calltruth or date.""A true classic," Matsukawa nods dreamily."Don't you mean truth ordare?" Oikawa frowns."Nope!" Takahiro treats them all to his evillest grin. "Truth ordate. Whoever chickens out the most has to go on a date with someone else in this room."Kindaichi faints.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, side iwaoi because i'm weak
Comments: 10
Kudos: 212





	truth or date

**Author's Note:**

> so, this entire thing was inspired by what i'm pretty sure was a typo (maybe?? i'm not making fun, of course! thank you for the inspiration!) in a fic by nyxdistari called "fuck, akaashi." this one has nothing to do with either fucking or akaashi (my most sincere apologies).

It's not a tradition, and Oikawa thankfully doesn't bother pretending that it is. When he announces that there will be a team sleepover at Iwaizumi's house next Friday, it's with the same expression that he wears before a match, when he turns around and says, _I believe in you._ Not a single member of the team dares to protest. 

Well, Takahiro considers it. Truthfully, he was planning to watch the new episode of _Bake-Off_ with his grandmother. (It's the Cream Puff Special, okay? And it's not like he's in the habit of passing up cream puffs, separated by a TV screen though they may be.) 

"You're not thinking about skipping, are you, Makki?" Oikawa asks, annoyingly perceptive as always, and Takahiro says a fond goodbye to his cream puff dreams. 

"You can't leave me alone with those two," Matsukawa pleads, indicating Oikawa and Iwaizumi, who are already on the other side of the gym again, where Oikawa is draping himself over Iwaizumi's shoulders and _ugh_ , god, Iwaizumi looks disgustingly happy about it. 

"Oi," Takahiro shouts. "No need to rub it in our sad, single faces." 

"You wouldn't be single if you got your shit together and asked—" Oikawa starts, but he's interrupted by Yahaba, who suddenly yells, 

"Asked for help with English! Maybe if you studied harder, you'd get a girlfriend!" 

"He doesn't—" Oikawa tries again, and Iwaizumi tackles him. 

Takahiro is entirely nonplussed. What's wrong with all of them? He turns to Matsukawa for confirmation that he's not the only one witnessing the entire team going insane. 

Matsukawa just shrugs. Typical. His confused-sleepy face is one of his cutest, Takahiro thinks absently. He could make a fortune bottling up Matsukawa's expressions and selling them. He'd call them, _Variations on "I'd rather be at home, but I'm stuck here with you assholes."_

Just for good measure, he grabs a ball and chucks it at Oikawa's face. Iwaizumi doesn't bother to stop it. 

\--

As far as sleepovers go, this one isn't so bad, Takahiro thinks, and then fervently hopes he didn't just jinx it. Iwaizumi's parents are on business trips, so the team have the house to themselves. Aside from an incident involving Kindaichi's hair and a grapefruit, nothing truly life-threatening has occurred. 

Yet. 

It's nearing ten p.m., and everyone is setting up their futons in the living room. Kyoutani and Yahaba are arguing over whose blanket has a stupider pattern. Oikawa and Iwaizumi are on the couch, and Takahiro's pretty sure they forgot everyone else is there, because Kunimi just had to cover Kindaichi's eyes, and Watari is downing tomato Pretz at an alarming pace, trying to look anywhere but at his upperclassmen. 

At least they're still fully clothed, Takahiro thinks, and then Matsukawa catches his eye and they both snicker. Leave it to Oikawa to spend "team bonding time" making out with his boyfriend. Iwaizumi must be a good kisser. 

Takahiro wonders if Matsukawa is a good kisser. Probably, he decides, and then, _what_? What's wrong with him? Why would he even think that? 

Oikawa makes a sound that Takahiro did _not_ want to hear anytime this century. Kindaichi is shaking (from tears or sheer terror, Takahiro's not sure), and Yahaba leaves off poking Kyoutani to pat a choking Watari on the back. Takahiro decides that enough is enough. 

"O _kay_ ," he says loudly. "How about we play a game?"

Oikawa untangles himself from Iwaizumi immediately. "A game?" 

"A-A g-game would b-be nice, H-Hanamaki-s-senpai," Kindaichi chatters. 

Kunimi just sighs. 

Matsukawa nudges Takahiro. "We should get them to play—you know," he whispers. 

Takahiro tries (no, he really doesn't) to stop his smirk. "Issei, you took the words right out of my mouth." 

"Well, great minds," Matsukawa shrugs lazily. Takahiro could kiss him. Wait, _no_ , he could _not_. What kind of stupid idea is that, anyway?? 

"What's this game, then?" Oikawa asks, eyes narrowed, probably already thinking about how he's going to win. 

"This, my friends," Takahiro says, "is a rousing game we like to call _truth or date_." 

"A true classic," Matsukawa nods dreamily.

"Don't you mean truth or _dare_?" Oikawa frowns. 

"Nope!" Takahiro treats them all to his evillest grin. "Truth or _date_. Whoever chickens out the most has to go on a date with someone else in this room." 

Kindaichi faints. 

It takes several minutes to coax him back to an upright position, during which everyone gathers in a circle, and it's unanimously decided that if Oikawa or Iwaizumi loses, it doesn't count. 

( _"But Iwa-chan doesn't take me on enough dates!"_

_"We're going to see that stupid movie again tomorrow, shitty Tooru."_

_"Well, losing can't be helped, can it?"_

_"If you cheat, I'll shave off your hair while you're asleep."_

_"So mean!"_ ) 

Once everyone is (relatively) settled, and Watari is back to nervously crunching his tomato Pretz (seriously, where'd he get all of those, the smart little bastard?), the game begins. 

It's fairly mild at first. Takahiro has a good old-fashioned list of everyone's names, to tally the number of times they each pass, and it stays blank for a good few rounds while people ask safe, boring questions like _what's your least favorite food_ and _have you ever kissed anyone_ and _which team do you think, collectively, has the biggest dicks._

"Shiratorizawa," Yahaba answers instantly. "Have you _seen_ those fucking trees?" 

"Well, just because they're tall," Kunimi reasons, "doesn't mean they're proportional." 

"I think—" Oikawa starts, and everyone shouts over him.

"Do _not_ finish that sentence," Iwaizumi orders, blushing fiercely. 

"Is it my turn now?" Kindaichi asks, his voice two octaves higher and several decibels softer than usual. 

The first pass comes, surprisingly, from Kyoutani, who clams up when Watari asks if he has a crush on anyone. 

"Ooh!" Oikawa cooes. "Kyouken-chan _likes_ someone!" 

"I do not," Kyoutani growls, which is all the confirmation any of them really need. 

"You could have just said yes or no," Yahaba points out. 

"Shut up! What's it to you?" Kyoutani snarls. Yahaba just shrugs. 

After that, it starts getting competitive. The questions are intentionally difficult to answer, ranging from _how many times did you jerk off last week_ to _what's your mom's cell phone number._

Kindaichi refuses that last one, and Takahiro thinks the poor kid is definitely going to lose this game. He has four passes now, and no one else has more than two. 

"Don't worry," Takahiro tells him kindly. "Issei and I will _not_ spy on your date and take pictures." 

"We can't promise for Oikawa, though," Matsukawa says. 

" _I_ can," Iwaizumi scowls. 

"Ah, well, we thought you could be the one to take Kindaichi out," Takahiro explains patiently. "Since you're such a good senpai. Kindaichi admires you, don't you, kid? It'll be the least uncomfortable…" 

"Iwa-chan is _not_ taking anyone on dates except me!" Oikawa interrupts. "Besides, the game isn't over yet. Kindaichi, do your best not to lose, okay?" 

Kindaichi looks torn between wanting to vomit and wanting to melt into the floor. Takahiro almost feels bad. 

But then Oikawa shoots Yahaba a _look_ , and Takahiro doesn't know why, but he feels fear's proverbial claw taking hold of his chest. Sure enough, the next time it's Oikawa's turn, he glares at Takahiro while directing his question at Matsukawa. 

"So, Mattsun," he says, voice sickly sweet. "What did you write in that little purple journal you had in first year?" 

Matsukawa wordlessly adds a tally to his own name. Takahiro just stares. 

"Wait— _what?_ What purple journal? Why don't I know about this? Why does _Oikawa_ know?" 

"Not your turn to ask questions, is it, Makki?" Oikawa smiles. It's not sweet at all. 

"I'm going to hit you," Iwaizumi grumbles. Oikawa just tells him to hush. Watari is out of Pretz and looks like he's never regretted anything more in his life. 

"It's my turn now," Takahiro says. "Issei, _what purple journal?_ " 

Matsukawa— _infuriatingly_ —just shrugs and adds another tally to his name. He's now tied with Kindaichi. 

Takahiro fumes. What kind of secrets is Matsukawa keeping from him that Oikawa somehow knows? Is he secretly a drug dealer? Do his parents own a multi-trillion-yen business on the black market? Is he an evil mastermind? Did he invent the dark web? 

None of those things would surprise him, actually, Takahiro decides, glancing fondly at his best friend. Mystery is a sexy look, he thinks, and what the fuck. _Shut up, brain._

"I think it's my turn now," Yahaba says, overly politely. "Hanamaki- _san_ , I was just wondering if you could tell me what your favorite thing about Matsukawa-san is." 

"That's easy," Takahiro scoffs. "His ass. Oh, and his sense of humor is alright, I suppose." 

He smirks and high-fives Matsukawa, although he notices it's a bit weak on Matsukawa's part. Hmm. 

"Mattsun, if I dared you to kiss Makki right now, would you do it?" Oikawa asks. 

"Sure," Matsukawa shrugs. Takahiro chokes. 

"Hang on just a second," he says. " _Sure?_ " 

"Makki, want to tell us why your face and hair are the same shade of pink right now?" 

"This is starting to feel more like an interrogation than a game," Kindaichi murmurs. 

"Shush," Kunimi hisses. "If we leave them alone, they won't drag us back into it." 

"My face is _not_ the same color as my hair," Takahiro glares at Oikawa. "I was just—surprised." 

Oikawa makes a buzzer sound. "Wrong answer! Mattsun, give him another tally. Makki, if you had to fuck someone on the team, who would it be and why?" 

"Issei, I guess," Takahiro says, feeling more confused than ever. What is Oikawa getting at? Obviously he'd pick Matsukawa. He's objectively the hottest. Wait a damn minute. No. _Stop calling your best friend hot in your head, you weirdo._

"You didn't say why," Oikawa _tsk_ s. "Another tally! Oops, looks like you're at four, now, too. Yahaba-chan, do you have any more questions?" 

"Just one," Yahaba looks at Matsukawa. "Matsukawa-san, do you like Hanamaki-san? Romantically?" 

Matsukawa appears to think about it for a moment. Then, with that wide, lazy grin that Takahiro loves so much ( _loves??? Takahiro, you sucker! Quit that!_ ), he says, 

"Yeah, I guess I do." 

"Bingo!" Oikawa crows. Iwaizumi looks about a millisecond away from throttling him. Everyone else is pretending not to be incredibly invested in the scene unfolding before them—and failing miserably. 

"You _what?_ " Takahiro just gapes. 

Matsukawa shrugs again. Takahiro thinks it should maybe be illegal to be that cute. ( _CUTE???_ ) 

"I like you, 'Hiro," he says. "Would you go out with me?" 

Takahiro splutters. His brain shut off sometime around Matsukawa shortening his name like that. He can't form a coherent thought, much less a _yes, I'd love to, and why didn't I figure this out sooner?_

"You didn't answer," Matsukawa smiles, reaching down to add a fifth tally mark next to Takahiro's name. 

"Game over!" Oikawa cries. "Makki loses! You have to go on a date with someone in this room!" 

Takahiro stares at them all. 

"I lost," he whispers. "I lost at my own game." 

"Now, now," Matsukawa says gently, taking Takahiro's hand. "There's no shame in losing a game well played, right? And you still haven't answered my question." 

"I—oh, _fuck all of you_. Yes, I'll go out with you, Issei."

"Score!" Oikawa screams, and this time, Iwaizumi really does tackle him to the floor, tickling him only somewhat violently. Yahaba looks relieved that his part in this scheme is over. Watari is inspecting the empty Pretz box wistfully. Kunimi is asleep. 

"Were you serious about kissing me?" Takahiro teases. 

"Only if you were serious about fucking me," Matsukawa answers, pokerface impeccable. Takahiro is reduced to folding over and coughing to hide his blush. 

"Wait a minute," Kindaichi frowns, looking nervous to even speak. "Hanamaki-senpai lost, right?" 

"Right," Matsukawa agrees. 

"So who's he going on his date with?"

**Author's Note:**

> oh, kindaichi. you poor, poor child. 
> 
> oikawa tries to sneak along and spy on the date. makki notices and tries to make him uncomfortable by flirting extra hard with mattsun. it backfires. they make out, everyone lives happily ever after, watari gets all the love and tomato pretz that he deserves, etc. etc. 
> 
> kudos and comments are loved and appreciated, as are you, if you somehow found and read this <3
> 
> and if anyone is wondering, there was no purple journal. matsukawa, you sly motherfucker.


End file.
